Talks on where and how to utilize Ceph successfully abound; and rightly so, since Ceph is a fascinating and very flexible SDS project. Let's talk about the rest. What lessons can we learn from the problems we have encountered in the field, where Ceph even may have ultimately failed? Or where the behaviour of Ceph was counter-intuitive to user expectations? And if so, was Ceph suboptimal or the expectations off? Drawing from several years of being the engineering escalation point for projects at SUSE and community feedback, this session will discuss anti-patterns of Ceph, hopefully improving our success rate by better understanding our failures.